Connection is a fundamental human need, but we are terrible at it
++Understand what connection is
Connection is the experience of oneness. It is having shared experiences, compatible feelings or complementary ideas. It is the feeling of belonging to something bigger than oneself. It is good to discern between obsession and connection, for this it is good to be diligent, proposing therapy for those who must see the way out from different angles.
When you are watching a sporting event with your friends, you are experiencing connection. When you join your family for dinner or open up and express your authentic feelings to another person or discover that you have something in common with someone, you are experiencing a connection..
We've developed a world designed to create more connection than ever before, but somehow, much of the digital age has disrupted connection or encouraged inauthentic connection, which doesn't work. You can't fake unity. It is not something that you intellectualize. It's something you feel.
++ Attitude is a determining factor in relationships,
The pleasant conversation is beautiful with cautious understanding in any situation, the tone of voice and/or the expressive characteristics in the communication could reflect inclinations towards a topic or circumstance, which can make the interaction difficult or easy in various aspects. Attitude is the habitual behavior that occurs in different circumstances. Attitudes determine the emotional life of each individual. Attitudes are patented by a person's repeated reactions. This term has a particular application in the study of character, as an innate or acquired, relatively stable indication to feel and act in a certain way. The attitude could be expressed with the tone of voice, the configuration of words and phrases, direct or indirect claim or demand. To carry out positive and constructive communication, it is good to appear truly physically and emotionally impartial in any circumstance. Put yourself in emotional detachment or challenge mode from any situation or thoughts and open yourself to the possibilities of the best that could happen in any interaction by seeing everything as independent scenarios that you can control in your circle by seeing them or not, hearing them or not, telling the audience Maybe tomorrow, so that they do not affect you physically or emotionally and preparing yourself not to change their character and that of the other, nor change the atmosphere that should be happy and pleasant, continue in a tone of conversation, questioning with genuine desire or interest, for example, where What arose, how is this achieved, what components or configuration does it have, what is required, what are the bases, what benefits or cons are there, etc.
++Learn to connect with others authentically
It is required to be pure, authentic, real in thought and deed for good interpersonal connection. The Internet and some social networks do not provide us with authenticity, they disconnect us from what is genuine, we are glued (not in all cases) to our phones at the dinner table, because they increase our capacity to not be authentic, allowing us to show off, edit, filter and publish a highlight reel with facades of lives that may or may not be an honest reflection of reality. There are websites that provide a certain reality when you can verbally intimidate, explore thoughts, but also reciprocal physical and emotional response, such as in multivive.com's livechat, people who have authentic connections through this medium report that they have a vision and a largely positive experience of it, using it as a way to keep in touch with other people who do not report levels of anxiety and depression associated with its use. There are people on social networks who pretend to be others trying to be liked because they confuse attention with connection and they are not the same, and they also bring into play feelings that could be harmful to themselves or others.
++Focus on giving connection, not receiving it
To connect with others, we have to give them our time and honest feelings and ideas, and share experiences and openness. We do not connect with others by trying to gain approval, admiration, praise, appreciation, envy or superiority. In the process of restoring a connection with others, we may find that we actually create a connection with ourselves.
++Most people believe that a connection is something they gain by being "good enough" when in reality it is something they develop by being willing enough.
If healing is a return to wholeness, then healing from trauma is remembering that we can trust others, we can trust ourselves, and we can trust life. It is the reintegration into ease, calm and the willingness to allow life to be as it is, rather than trying to control how it is perceived. You are not waiting for others to initiate or maintain that connection. It is our own will to try again, to be vulnerable again, to show up for others, to help each other and to become an active part of our communities, families and groups of friends.
In the process of reestablishing a connection with others, we may find that we truly create a connection with ourselves. By being seen and loved for who we are, how we think, and what we feel, we learn that it is okay to be who we are.
If our fundamental human need is to connect with others, then the most important part of healing our emotional wounds is allowing ourselves to open up again. It is simply our willingness to show ourselves as we are, and our confidence that we will be cared for. It is our discernment to give our time and energy to those who respect and appreciate it. And, most importantly, know that even if we have to go through the fires of life, as we all do, we come out the other end stronger, clearer, and more ready to appreciate what we have.
Not unlike the Japanese art of kintsugi, where broken items are repaired and proudly displayed, our connections and reconnections are often stronger where we have had to forge them ourselves.
++Personal connections are experiences of tolerance, expression, and understanding toward oneself and others. It is having similar ideas and feelings and sometimes helpful... Acceptance of the positive and negative is recognizing that we are not perfect, as a tool tolerance is essential because people usually do not know each other completely and act with fears, weaknesses and mistakes unpredictable, they are constantly exploring and living experiences with trial and error, as a result they know who they really are, the reactions in their being and thoughts to the incitements that could contain what is necessary for their lives, which teaches them positively or negatively because to Obtaining and supplying it is usually a catch for better or worse. The reactions and consequences to different situations could be unimaginable and unpredictable with effects on oneself and others, let us remember that we are imperfect beings with conscious and unconscious decisions that could surprise, therefore being attentive, willing and tolerant is to act for it with reserve and sometimes forgiveness, which can save by warning when the other wants to obtain a benefit while going against social values and principles, guidelines that if broken can cause complaints or sorrow, it is a matter of having good will, constructive common sense, morality, ethics and others for the benefit of personal, family or other interactions
++ In Young Life the question of harmony between two beings has little importance because what manages the circumstances is the impetus and the natural need to reproduce their species and leave their mark, in the years to come, around the 50s and 60s of the human being. , relationships are no longer interested in reproducing but in finding harmony and harmony, realizing what was missing or left over in failed relationships to incorporate or discard them, finding someone to talk to and enjoying time and simple and unnecessary things, just feeling genuinely harmonious with the other being close or far, with similar passion and mentality. In the living room watching TV or on the computer, it is satisfying and pleasant to feel the absence of judgment but motivated, frequented and rather in balance with whom you share everything. If you want to meet someone by chat or in person, check these links: Live Chats or In-Person Meetings
In his book Lost Connections, Johann Hari talks about his decades of work in the field of trauma and mental health and why he believes that the root of almost everything we suffer is a severed connection that we never figure out how to repair. At one point, Hari tells of an obesity clinic where patients who were overweight to the point of a medical crisis were placed on a supervised liquid diet in an effort to try to save their lives. The treatment worked and many of the patients left the clinic hundreds of pounds lighter and with a new life contract, at first. What happened next was a side effect that no doctor predicted. Some of the patients regained all the weight and then others. Others suffered psychotic breaks and one died by suicide.
After analyzing why many of these patients had adverse emotional reactions, doctors discovered something important: The moment each patient started overeating usually correlated with a traumatic event for which they had no other coping mechanism. Hari summarized the findings this way: "What we thought was the problem was often a symptom of a problem that no one knew anything about."
Of course, the implication is not that every overweight person is suffering from some kind of subconscious trauma. The point is that many of the ongoing problems that we cannot solve are, in fact, symptoms of deeper problems that we may not be aware of. In fact, Hari compares it to smoke from a burning house: you can keep stirring the clouds, but without putting out the fire, your efforts will be useless. The biggest problem in most people's lives is trauma, and trauma is what creates a damaged ability to connect with others. “Trauma” is not a term reserved for the most severe and unforgiving atrocities one can experience. Every time something scares us and we don't overcome that fear, trauma is created. When we do not believe that we have the resources or skills to face a certain problem or stimulus, we create adaptive behaviors to deny or avoid it. It is not the trauma itself that causes the most long-term damage; This is how trauma wreaks havoc on the psyche and prevents reintegration into a normal, healthy life where other unknown people and situations are considered benevolent.
You've probably heard this before in different ways: the opposite of addiction, it's not sobriety, it's connection. The most important pillar of happiness is the sense of belonging and purpose. Cultures that are more communal are mentally healthier as a whole. People who are alone often die sooner and get sick sooner. We are a tribal species. There is no way around this despite what many highly individualistic cultures may want us to believe. No person is an island unto themselves. We are born through connection, and it is through connection with others that we achieve virtually everything else in life. We don't just prefer healthy relationships; We need them. Connection is so important, but it is often overlooked and there are few resources available to teach people how to foster real connection in their lives. But there are some essential ideas that can help.
Happiness could be defined by: How you make your decisions, how you invest your time, your perception of the purpose of life, what ultimately makes you feel happy.
The origin and author. Based on these principles, the author of this page provides alternatives to communication in the document: Psychology of personal relationships